To Mr B

Please don’t think this is some kind of Valentine’s message because it isn’t. It’s purely coincidence. Think of this as an anti-Valentines if you must.

Mr B rarely reads this blog. I think he is vaguely embarrassed/bemused by it. He normally only reads it if his mum reads it and mentions that he was mentioned in it. And then normally he gets cross. Poor Mr B. He has a hard life but that is what happens when you marry a remedial wife.

Recently, Mr B and I had a conversation that we’ve had several times since I became a trailing spouse. Mr B is of the opinion that he has made life very difficult for me because he uprooted me from my “career” (*cough*cough*) and forced me into a life of boredom, with nothing to fulfill me.  Dragging me all over the world in his wake.

He feels guilty about this.

So let me set the record straight.

Yes, going from being a career woman to a trailing spouse is not an easy transition. It is hard to have no money and nothing to do all day in strange lands.

However, it has also made me get out there to make new friends and find new hobbies, learn new languages, to try to understand new cultures. It has given me time to think about what I want. What I really want to do. What makes me happy and what makes me miserable. It has made me realise work is not the be all and end all. That I am more than a title on a business card. That the world is a small place, getting smaller all the time. That I have to laugh at myself more and find the humour in stressful situations. That I have to look after myself. That I have to make sure Mr B also looks after himself and gets some balance in his life.

Being a trailing spouse has given me self-confidence in subtle and unexpected ways, as well as breaking down a long-held hatred of walking into a room and not knowing anyone.

Let’s not also forget that Mr B has supported me financially and emotionally and been the model of patience on many occasions and my partner-in-adventure everyday.

This is a gift.

My time in Asia has given me my mojo back.

And for that I can’t thank you enough.

What do you think?

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